When I was pregnant with Carter, I knew after he was born I would be finished having kids, to the dismay of both moms. According to my mom, I am a "baby making machine", but that story is for another post. Anyway, I was completely set on not having any more kids (don't worry this isn't about me getting pregnant or changing my mind). But I didn't realize how this decision would effect how I look at Carter's milestones. Last week when he rolled over for the first time, I almost cried, both from joy and sadness. Last night was the first night Jeremy and I put Carter in his own room. Many of you right now are saying it is about time and some are shocked that it is too soon. Remember we live in a Cape Cod with our bedroom on the top floor and the kids rooms downstairs. So I didn't want to move him downstairs until he was sleeping through the night. He has been sleeping through the night since he was 6 weeks old! But I wanted to make sure before moving him : ). I enjoy having him in our room. I can hear every sigh, wimper and breath. Really I don't mind him in our room since he is on the other end ( remember cape cod and our room spans the length of the house).
Another first for Carter, but another last for me. I know I won't have to make this decision again. So as I am nursing him last night it hits me and I started crying. Jeremy came in the room and thought something was terribly wrong with me.
This is how the conversation went:
C: "Are we sure we want to do this"
J: "He will be okay Cortney"
C: " I don't know, maybe just one more night."
J: " You have been saying that for 2 weeks now, he will be fine."
C: "I don't know, what if he gets cold, hot or scared."
J: " He will be fine, you have the heater set just right, Victor will comfort him and Evan will protect him. ( Vic is our dog and yes I do love my husband's sense of humor)
After putting him down...
C: "Let me check on him one more time" (this was about the 5th time). So I did, and I lingered,contemplating if I could do this. Jeremy had to gently push me out and made sure the video monitor was set up just right so I could see him perfectly.
So...we did it! Carter slept like a champ (and I did too) and I am feeling a little less guilt this morning. But I might change my mind again tonight!
My little boy is growing up!